Anonymous asked: He’s just saying to hold yourself to a higher standard, and don’t conform to this expectation that the world has, at least in regards to what we see on TV and magazines all the time. Modesty doesn’t mean that we are ashamed of our bodies and we should cover everything up and walk around thinking we are better than other people who do not dress in ways that are considered modest. It just means that we value ourselves enough to not show so much
but at the same time, I don’t look at immodest people and think ‘o they don’t value themselves’—so I see why you were upset by Jason’s quote. Sometimes I see outfits and the women look absolutely amazing, and if you look at what people see as modest, they wouldn’t be considered to be dressed modestly, but I think they are, so people are different. Jason and Crystalina have great intentions for sharing their testimony, and I don’t think they meant harm by saying that.
Whether harm was meant or not is beside the point. All that matters is if harm was caused, and this general obsession with modesty has, as far as I’m concerned, caused more harm than good and just continues to cause more harm.
Just because you do something that the “world” also happens to do doesn’t mean you’re “conforming.” It just means you’re doing something that the world also happens to do. Maybe you feel more confident dressed a certain way. Maybe your self esteem rises when you dress how you want. People dress for so many reasons and almost none of them have to do with, “Oh, I just don’t value myself so I’m going to dress this way.” If anything, I think that telling people, “You’re only dressed that way because you don’t value yourself,” is what’s going to LEAD to them not valuing themselves. You think, “Oh, maybe I don’t value myself.” It plants a seed of doubt, and it’s repeated constantly by people withint certain circles.
How much you cover up has literally nothing to do with how much you value yourself. It is true that people sometimes dress a certain way with certain intentions, but people can’t keep saying “Oh, well, that person doesn’t dress to my standard, so they clearly don’t value themselves.” And ESPECIALLY the implications of that quote.
Through modesty, a woman tells the world that she has more to offer than her body.
Literally, if you’re saying dressing one way means you’re telling people you have more to offer than your body, then you’re also implying that the opposite is true. That is, dressing the other way means you’re announcing to the world that you have nothing more to offer than your body, and that is an incredibly shitty way to sum up a group of people you clearly don’t know personally and can’t possibly understand in “general” terms. Again, intention doesn’t matter all that much if harm was caused. If someone hits me in the face and breaks my nose, I don’t really care if they meant to do it or not, though I might forgive them easier if they didn’t mean to. All I really care about is the fact that my nose is broken, and whatever needs to be done to remedy that situation. Intent is secondary here. Nose first, intentions later. Why not assume that a person who dresses ~immodestly~ is actually just saying that their body is only the tip of the iceberg, and that they have so much more to offer beside? Why assume the worst intentions?
All of that aside, I don’t believe biblical modesty is about how one dresses as much as how one presents themselves and how they behave and how one treats others and treats other in comparison to how they treat self. This whole obsession with policing what women wear and what women look like is absurd, and especially with something as subjective as “modesty.” Two different people can look at the exact same outfit and one will feel it’s modest and the other won’t. Who’s opinion do we default to, then? The opinion best suiting our own?
Bottom line is, only one person’s opinion actually matters here, and that’s the person wearing the clothes. Your opinion literally does not matter as long as that person is pleased with how they’re dressed, and as long as that person sees nothing wrong with what they’re wearing and they aren’t actually hurting anyone, feelings of obsessed evangelicals aside. The “modest clothes” topic is one that should have died a long time ago, but for some reason keeps sticking around, The sooner people realize that women dress how they want generally for no other reason than that they want to and like what they wear, the better. Honestly. And that’s why quotes like that make me so angry.